Stream of Consciousness

So many thoughts and so little energy to write them.

Here is a stream of consciousness run through of the days ponderings...

So many things to do! I must get them done! Why do I do these things anyway! Why do they come before sleep and health often times? It's remarkable how many times I've climbed these steps, even in a single day, and for what? A supposed timed meeting? An existential thought-what is the point of time anyway...is it really only a measure of degeneration? Work, nothing to do in particular, and yet I stay. So many things to do, and yet I sit in an office to "earn money." Why do we do these things? Rush to help teach reading to children. Watch their minds twist, their bodies need to burn energy. Time? A measurement of degeneration, and yet scolded, sit still. take your hands from your face. sit in the corner. you can read can't you? Reading. Symbols on a page, inflections of a pen on a page. A cave man understanding, and yet intellectual, a symbol in itself of intelligence. Eyes flicker over flash cards with letters, what process turns the wheels in her mind. Why do they not pay attention? What does their not paying attention mean? They mean no disrespect I trust? Disrespect. Isn't insinuating something based on my skin, hair color eye color, appearance in general, a disrespect? How much generalizations and stereotypes are true. I've traveled, yet I remain white. No change. Dance- communication...long distance, and yet dance so close, separately and together, learning, interacting. My point is? A child's understanding, God's voice. Who do you hear? Who do I hear? Environment, race, parents, lucky, travel, guilt...Worship. loud and up front. Songs about loosing ourselves and yet glamor in the singing. Loud enough to drown me out. If I'm drowned out, if I'm still, if I don't draw an eye, do I profess my Christianity? Friends-conversations means so much. open up, relationships, close their heart breaks. Study, study, study, type type type. be concise, be articulate. Print and sleep.

repeat!